MOVED!!

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Do or Die

I've been meaning to write this for a while now. It's my Bucket List. I was finally inspired enough today to stop and think about all the things I want to do or see or try or learn in my lifetime, and this is what I've come up with so far... and I get the feeling that this is just the beginning.

See Live:

Flogging Molly on St. Patrick’s Day

Handel’s Messiah at Christmas

Kenny Chesney

Alison Krauss

Penn & Teller

A Seahawks game

An NHL game (no team preference at this point)

A bluegrass festival

An honest-to-god Highland Games

Travel to:

The Outer Banks, NC

Walt Disney World/Orlando (again)

Greece (Art History Tour)

Italy (Art History Tour)

Paris (Art History Tour)

British Isles (Art History Tour)

New Zealand

Bryce, Zion, Grand Canyon, American SW

Yosemite National Park

All the lakes/places Dad liked to go (Fly Fishing Tour)

Christmas Island (Fly Fishing Tour)

Boston – Sam Adams Brewery Tour

San Francisco – New Belgium Brewery Tour

Try:

Snowboarding

Sea kayaking

Hike-In Camping

Cooking a turkey

A new food or recipe once a month at least.

Learn to:

Ride a horse again

Quilt

Crochet/knit

Make cheese

Sew clothing, not just handbags

Live in (possibly):

Bend, OR

Any little coast town in WA or OR

Virginia or Maryland (Chesapeake Bay)

Chicago

Sandpoint, ID

Montana

Do:

Throw an honest-to-god dinner party that doesn’t involve chips & salsa

Design & build our own energy-efficient & eco-friendly house

Use my camera more, and try selling photos & other crafty things on Etsy

Be in shape enough to run for an hour at a steady pace

Contribute to a CSA or Farmer’s Market

Run an animal sanctuary for pets that wouldn’t be adopted otherwise

Own & operate a gift shop in a touristy town, selling my handmade items

Stop drinking pop, and start drinking more wine

Work for a college/university in the art department, event coordinator, sustainability, whatever

Have a house-rabbit, and chickens, and maybe a pygmy goat

Have a big, sunny, airy studio in the upper story of a barn

Take a pottery class

Take a stained glass class

Get at least one meaningful tattoo

What's a month, give or take?

I have been completely overwhelmed lately. Life is like... I can't think of a good analogy right now that really fits, but I guess kind of an invisible Rock-'Em-Sock-'Em Robot, I just feel beat up but I can't really pinpoint the source. I am glad to say that I've found a great psychologist though, and have my second appointment with her tomorrow. So hopefully this will help me learn to fight back against an unknown opponent.

***

Speaking of, in my first appointment my new doctor pointed out that for a person's mind to never be at rest - to be constantly thinking and planning and worrying and daydreaming, mind spinning and churning at high velocity 24/7 - apparently this is NOT NORMAL. Oh. Crap. Now what? It's kind of overwhelming to think about. Wait... shit.

***

Just like the hits, the tomatoes just keep on comin'. I have made salsa and marinara and even a vodka tomato cream sauce, all of which are stockpiled in my freezer. I haven't worked up the nerve to try canning yet - but Mom is coming to visit in October so I might take some lessons from her while she's here. Then I can blame any botulism outbreaks on her. (Kidding Mom!)

***

Our neighbor has a new puppy. A Great Dane puppy. A blue merle Great Dane puppy. I met him over the fence yesterday and officially have a case of puppy envy. How can you not, with this face? If he had blue eyes, I would steal him and name him something goofy like Gonzo.

***

Last week was spent in Vegas. Not fun-Vegas, but work-Vegas. Sure, we stayed on the Strip (New York New York has some great friggin deals right now!) but I was essentially there on my own since my co-worker isn't exactly a party-animal (oh ok, neither am I. Who am I kidding?). So I spent the majority of the time in my room watching season 1 of The Wire on DVD. Holy crap is that show GOOD. I'm now waiting on season 2 from the library.

***

I beat Plants Vs Zombies last night. I just started playing it this weekend. Does that tell you what kind of holiday I had? But I did take time out to bake cupcakes. Unfortunately even though these cupcakes have zucchini and carrots in them, they also have real butter and several cups of sugar, so any potential healthy-factor is voided out.

***

I need to write more often. Not just WANT to, but NEED to. I need to journal more. I think that might help the whole gyroscope-for-brains situation, if I have a way to funnel it into some sort of containment system. AKA, the interwebs.

***

Random somewhat-related factoid: my cat is named Gyro, short for Gyroscope, not the Greek flatbread-sweaty-meat-and-yogurt sandwich. As a kitten he was in perpetual motion - chasing his tail, chasing the dog, chasing flies, chasing laserbeams... his favorite toy is still his own tail, but he's much more of a cuddlebug now.

Reminiscing, and Mosquitoes

We went camping for the first time last weekend. It was hot as the devil's armpit (sticky and sweaty too) but we had a wonderful time. We didn't go far, just to a state park an hour south of home, but it was far enough to relax for a bit and enjoy the outdoors.

The Subaru was laden down with Brian's canoe, our bikes, fishing stuff, and all the requisite gear - earning it the new name of The Adventure-Mobile. We got to use our tent for the first time (camping in the in-law's front yard doesn't count) and I got a new sleeping bag, which unfortunately is nylon inside and out. I wouldn't mind normally, but it was so hot and sticky and sweaty that I wound up glued to the thing. Add to that a sadly deflated air pad, and sleeping was kind of uncomfortable - but not so much that it affected the fun of getting away from home for a couple of days.

It might sound weird, but I think my favorite part was planning the trip. It made me think so much of my dad, and how ridiculously organized he was about camping. He had multiple lists, special Rubbermaid camp boxes that stayed packed with essential items, and gear suitable for van camping, tenting, or RVing. It was truly an artform, so I had that standard in my head while planning our trip. I forgot a couple of things (ziplock bags and anti-histamine lotion), purposefully left out others (corned beef hash, bleah!), and added a couple of our own touches (fresh garden tomatoes and potatoes). We had to buy a few pieces of necessary gear (a percolator, some dollar-store utensils for campfire cooking) and added a few more pieces to our list for next time (a dutch oven, a new foam sleeping pad).

The key part of any trip with Dad was the fishing. He had the aluminum Nymph rowboat, the 'peapod' black vinyl folding rowboat, float tubes, and the Boston Whaler for bigger lakes. He had multiple flyrods and spinners. He used a depth-finder sometimes, and had a detailed atlas and mental list of lakes, what fish they held, and what the best fly was. And he rarely got skunked, or at least that's how it seemed. How could he, after all?

We're getting there. We have the canoe, which I'm getting used to the balance of and learning how to paddle. Brian has a flyrod and a good spinner, and he bought me my own spinner this summer and promises me a flyrod soon too. My regret is that I'm just now learning how to enjoy it - the quieter campsites, the lakes with no-motor regulations, the repetitive, relaxing solitude of fishing - I didn't fully appreciate it when Dad was around, and it makes me sad that I missed those chances. But it makes me that much happier to be doing it now.

Dad, Mom, and Romeo at Big Meadow Lake.

Daisy, give yourself away...

The past couple of days I've become conscious of the fact that every morning, without fail, I have a random song stuck in my head. Sometimes it's there as soon as I wake up, sometimes it pops in my head while I'm in the shower, sometimes while I'm doing my makeup. I've decided to Tweet about this phenomenon every day to keep track of it (maybe create an iTunes playlist based on it?) and see what, if anything, it tells me about myself and the craziness in my head.

So since this past Wednesday, it's been the following:

John Mayer - Daughters

The Killers - Human

Switchfoot - Daisy

So what does this tell me?

#1 -- When 'Daughters' popped into my head while showering on Wednesday, I realized that the lyrics are really kind of screwed up. The bridge goes like this:

Boys, you can break

Find out how much they can take

'Cause boys will be strong

Boys soldier on

But boys would be gone without warmth

from a woman's good, good heart

This is a truly ridiculous statement to make. Boys are tough, you can berate them and beat them down and they're like the Energizer Bunny, they'll just keep on going! Ugh. Bullshit. I don't think I even need to say anything more.

But why did this come into my head? Maybe to reiterate the fact that I need to have a warmer heart, especially towards Brian...?

#2 -- Are we human, or are we dancer? I have no clue what this means. Am I human? I'm not a dancer, I know that much. Although it'd be fun to take some ballroom lessons with Brian maybe...

#3 -- Let it go, Daisy let it go

Open up your fists, this fallen world

Doesn't hold your interest, doesn't hold your soul

Daisy let it go

Why do I care so much about what other people think of me, of the work I do, of the life I live? This fallen world doesn't hold my soul... I need to worry about ME, about MY happiness and who I am. I think. Sounds good, anyway.

Psychoanalyzing yourself isn't very easy, especially through somewhat incongruous song lyrics. To be continued...

Things I Would Have Twittered, if I had Mobile Twitter Capabilities

Loose, blousy, striped tee-shirts apparently make TSA folks suspicious. Me & my belt made of C4 explosives got the pat-down by a cute little blonde at the Detroit airport. I think the creepy guy at the xray machine put her up to it just so he could witness some hot girl-on-girl. Sorry dude, didn't mean to disappoint you with our whole 3 seconds of action.

I sat between an odd couple on my flight to L.A. Girl & guy, obviously traveling together, so I asked if they wanted to sit right next to each other instead of having me in the middle. Answer was an immediate "No. No. No, that's okay. No." WOW. Then discover later that they're MARRIED. Ouch. Girl was somewhat normal despite the fact that she inhaled a gallon-size bag of Jelly Bellys. But the guy, holy nutcase! I'm not sure if it was nerves or what, but he was not just biting his nails, he was full-on eating his fingers. Every finger, all the way up to the first knuckle, was red and oozing and gnawed on. Non-stop. The entire 4.5-hour flight. Uuurrrrghhh.

I was booked at the Four Point LAX, but when I arrived their power was out so they moved me next door to the Renaissance. Supposedly this was a "major upgrade" but really? No hot water, hair everywhere (including the bathroom ceiling?!), constant noise through the connecting doors, $13/day for internet... it was nicely furnished, don't get me wrong, but if this was an upgrade I'd hate to stay at the other place.

Presentations & meetings all went well, and had a good conversation with my co-worker about promoting this class a little more. Further discussion is needed, but I think we're on the same page now. Looks like I'll be heading to Vegas in September, and adding some presentations to my schedule while I'm in Phoenix for Greenbuild in November too.

Got to see a bit more of the L.A. area this time around, mostly Culver City and a bit of downtown too. Had lunch at an awesome Mexican place (on Sepulveda I think??), and had a seared Ahi tuna taco. So. Good. OMG.

Guy at LAX looked so much like Kelly Slater I had to watch him for several minutes before I determined that it wasn't. Too skinny and not quite the same facial structure. Also this guy played soccer. Still nice to look at though.

Flight back was pretty bleah. Had a window seat this time at least, but the girl in the middle had a nasty cold and kept blowing her nose, like wet-honking-snot-filled blowing that really should have taken place in the bathroom. It's not like it was very far away, considering we were in the very back of the plane. Get up off your ass and don't subject the rest of us to your nastiness. Dude in the aisle seat and I shared a bottle of hand sanitizer as we walked through the airport & joked about loading up on vitamin C and zinc when we got home.

Finally made it home around 2 a.m. and am looking forward to leaving work a bit early today!

To Whom it May Concern...

To the Office Cleaning Staff -

Learn how to load a frickin' dishwasher. The idea is to spread things out so that (a) they don't bang against each other and chip, and (b) the water and soap actually reach the surface you intend to clean. Jamming everything into 6 square inches on the top rack is not conducive to actually washing the dishes. Also, quit forgetting to put the detergent in.

***

To the Toledo Fire & Rescue Department -

Apparently your EMT's need to take some basic driving classes. When entering the freeway, you do not STOP on the on-ramp. You ACCELERATE. You MERGE with the traffic. This is not an intersection. Also pay attention to the fact that there are cars behind you that do not wish to provide work for you by being rear-ended by the other people who expect to gun it up the ramp.

***

To the Dog -

Yes, it's raining again. Let's not have another episode like last weekend, where you kept trying to sneak past me to the basement to poop, and eventually I had to forcibly drag you outside in a downpour, then stand in the rain for half an hour waiting for you to do your business. Maybe it's a result of you not having any balls, but please, MAN UP. You aren't going to melt.

***

To my Cell Phone -

Keep it up and I'll drop you in the parking lot on "accident" then watch in joy as my co-workers with their big-ass trucks run over you repeatedly. (Note: phones with 'touch screens' do not equate an iPhone. Samsung, the Glyde is a wonderful idea, but you really need to work on it.)